Procrastination At Its Finest

I am trying to slowly but surely get into blogging, but the little weirdo in my head keeps procrastinating over and over.. LOL!  Well, better late than never, right?

Today I am going to do a meme challenge from October 6, by Strawberry Singh called "Your Avatar's Private Life".  Basically, the idea of the challenge is, what does your avatar do when your RL self clicks that X?

I had this whole idea of what Lea/Suff does when I am not online...  and I WAS going to do a shoot of Lea on the therapist's couch, because we all know that after all I put the poor thing through, she probably is on a slew of anti-psychotic medications and about ready to take the vacation at the p-hospital (it IS close to the time I start cracking down on Hunt for Your Inner Slut final prepwork).  But the guy I selected to be the therapist and I aren't on at the same times enough, so we are going to go with what she does at home when I am not online... which is read:)

I see the REAL Lea as kind of like the quiet version of myself... geeky, bookwormy, introverted.  I push her more out of her comfort zone, so when I am not online, she probably wanders the house, taking care of the plants and studying large tomes of books as well as romance novels where the heroine gets swept off her feet..lol

There was a second half to this challenge, to blog about one of the closest friends in Second Life.  It's really hard to point out just one of the five people who I am closest to, because each of those people have held me together throughout the years, and I don't can't really choose WHICH of them is the "one closest"...  So, we will do it this way...

N: Two years ago, I almost had a RL nervous breakdown when I lost the one person in my blood family who was my best friend as well as the only one who really loved me (my mom).  My world completely shattered, but there was one person who not only helped me breathe through it and helped my RL husband by giving him support, but also who stayed WITH me even when my personality changed some because of the grieving process.  She's been with me for over three years now, and even though we don't see much of one another because of scheduling, she is still one of my staunchest supporters and who loves me no matter how weird I am:).

J: The ONLY person who loves me enough to sit down and tell me straight out when I am on the course to fucking up, and does it in a way that let's me know he is doing it because he does care.  I have had a few people who have asked me what I see in him, because they know him due to disagreements or negative word of mouth from people who he pissed off....  and I tell them the same thing that he probably says about me; He is one of the FEW REAL people on Second Life...and one of the only people I can seriously call a real friend, someone who would even be here IRL for me if I needed a friend, if it wasn't for that Pond;)

G: One of the few people that just calms me.  He's like my teddy bear....lol.  I can have a totally shitty day, he will log on, we will talk for about 5 sentences, and I am calm.  A huge disagreement, and a misunderstanding that someone else triggered, caused a year-long absence between us, and after we got over the first month of talking things out, we became stronger.  I guess we both just needed to have and give love, and that is what we are both good at with each other..  just exchanging that emotion that humans need to be healthy.

S: We are still learning one another, but already I count her as one of my closest people. She is like the hyperactive version of me somedays:)  Our pasts are way, way too much alike for us not to be close.... it's hard enough going through life being different, it's even harder when people will ASK why you are different..... after comparing stories, we don't even have to with one another, we just KNOW.  I feel at home with her, because of that....and because we share alot of the same feelings about other people in our SL lives:)

NP: THIS lady is just..  phenomenal.  She helps keep me grounded, and supports me through ALL the aspects of my life, even if I know she doesn't always approve of everything I do.  She's the only one allowed to really boss me around, because she's the only one I have given that permission to in SL (no, she is not my domme..LMAO!).  I got to know her first as a distant friend, but she has become one of my best friends without her or I even really realizing it:)  I seriously cannot imagine my life without her in it, I would probably be completely lost and wandering around naked and mismatching because of her being gone:)

I don't have a pic of all of these people and me together.....because they are all on at different times, and not all of them get along well together..LOL!  But I got that mental picture in my heart, and that is what matters, right?:)

Pornstar Rant

Oh boy, it's been FOREVER since I wrote on here!  Oh don't you worry your pretty little head off about it, this one MIGHT help make up for some time.

Lately I have had a few things that have been making my brain itchy, which has been making my fingers twitchy, but I don't say anything at the time, because it might be taken as bitchy....  no, I am not trying to rhyme, it just came out that way, and if you know me, you know the kind of thing of which I speak.

I am going to use my personal little blog here to mention a few things that may or may not help others... at least I got them off my chest.  LOL!


1. PORNSTAR GROUP IS NOT A "PICKUP GROUP"
Okay, I know we are a fun, lively group of diverse people, most of whom are horny little bitches and bastards who like to have hot, heavy sex on and off camera..... and we are all going to intermingle sometimes.  BUT I do kinda have an issue when people join the group PURELY planning on trying to get laid.  The kind of people who solely come into the chatroom to say, "Hey, I am horny, anyone want to fuck?" or the latest gem recently that had my eyes twitching, "psst any one wna doa 3 some".  You know, if you are looking to get laid, there are groups out there that I can direct you to that will make that happen FAR quicker.... hell, tell the other group that you are an SL pornstar and it will enhance your chances of getting laid.  lol


2. SPAM ONCE AN HOUR, PLEASE???
I might be a little old-school about my hosting (I have been doing it since 2006, and I was trained by the owners of the then-quite-often-#2 club in Second Life (on the foot traffic and Voting Booth listings) ) so maybe I am a bit of a stickler about this.  But if I may give a suggestion, please only spam the information and SLURL/LM of a party once an hour during the party?  Talk about it if you wish, but allow regular chatter to flow too....if the folks in the group decide not to come out, it is their decision and more spam is not going to change their minds, but rather might chase them further from showing, you know?


3. NOT ALL OF US LOVE DRAMA, KEEP IT IN PRIVATE PLEASE
There are going to be moments when someone will just....vent.  It's all well and good, and sometimes can be educational when learning the ins and outs of life (both First and Second).  But when you come into the chatroom, dragging a massive piece of drama baggage behind you and flop it into the middle of the group, it's not so okay for all of us.  We are all over the age of 18 (or at least I HOPE so!), we all left high school.  And some of us actually DO mean it when we say we don't like drama (in my case, if I get drug into it, it physically makes me sick, literally. It weakens my immune system further, so it is totally NOT cool to me). 
If I may advise.....  if you get pissed off at someone within the group, take it up directly WITH that person in private, or feel free to talk amongst your favorite friends about it if you just need to vent.  If you feel the need to post about it in a blog or on Facebook and you know it will cause some ripples in the group, please consider typing it out on Wordpad on your computer hard drive, and hold off on sharing it for 24 hours (as I have done with this post actually..lol).  Consider the fact that it is not just you and the person you are pissed off with that will become involved, but a group of hundreds of people, most of whom only know you on reputation.  Is this how you want people to see you when they see your name on a movie or photo?


Oh and let me add this in, just because I can:
4. FRIENDING/FUCKING/DATING ME WILL NOT GET YOU ADVANCED IN PORNSTARS GROUP
I am NOT popular, folks.  Yes, people know me because I am friendly and I am open.  This doesn't mean I am popular, it just means I talk alot in the group so people recognize my name as that warm, friendly chick that talks too much in the chat.  I can count on one hand how many films I have been in during the over 2 years I have been around you all.  I can count on boith hands how many people I have posed as a model for photos with (yes, I am picky, we all are allowed to be, get your panties out of a bunch).  Trust me, I am NOT going to be the best person to attempt to use as a stepping stone to become that big porn star that you envision becoming in this group.  

If you want to be my friend or lover, please be honest, caring, and real.  

Don't expect anything of me, unless you are willing to work your ass off to make it happen.  I am also the most scatterbrained, almost-unreliable person I know in this group.  I am always juggling 10 things in my head, and losing 5 of them in midair.  Ask anyone who I have promised to make poses for or do a photoshoot with and things got in the way..... I actually have someone attempting to manage me business-wise currently who probably considers throwing up her hands and giving up half the time, if she wasn't a stubborn beautiful person who has more faith in me than I do in myself.




Okay, all done rambling, I hope this at least helps those of us in the group who feel alone in their frustrations....  lol. Hell, maybe it will make some changes in behaviors happen. See, look, I said that last part with a straight face;)  lol


Lusty Regards,
Suff/Lea;)

Visiting the Flux-Clarity Home

Hi everyone:)  This COULD possibly be the tamest post ever from me, but I decided, I might as well update my blog with something pretty;)

I made a friend awhile back by the name of Rico Flux-Clarity...  absolutely sweet guy, one of the few models in SL who IS a fashion model, not just someone using the tag to get free clothes (yes, I am one of those who rolls my eyes when most people say "I am an SL model"..lol).  He was heading a project called Stand4Love that I got to give a few photos in support of:)  Through him, I met his lovely husband, Editorial Clarity, who  is a blogger (check out Love to Decorate) and one of the most amazing decorators in SL that I have ever met.

Today, he opened up his home for viewing (he does this once and awhile after he finishes redoing their home, because they love to share their love of designing with the rest of us), and I ran over as soon as I could to get a couple pics of the outside, and hoping I can take some pics of the inside and the garden tomorrow;)  Yes, Edi, I know I didn't get the secret garden.. I gotta come properly dressed tomorrow for that part....lol;)

He did a writeup with information about the home and build at this link, so if you want to check it out, hurry over while you can!  His pictures of the place are much better than mine, but I still think I got some good shots:)

Dream Cum True

I have had many dreams in my life..  some of which will never come true, in either life... but I think I have led a pretty eventful life in both my worlds.

In Second Life, I have held so many roles... from being a wedding minister (yes, stop laughing... been doing online weddings on various games since 1994...on SL, mostly on another name), a Slingo manager (Not those lame ass solo games, but what we called Devil May Care and Zynga back in the old days), a hostess, a DJ, a builder, a photographer, a stripper, an escort for one failed attempt so far...LOL.......

But my dream for the last 3 years has been different than most peoples.. I have actually wanted to become a porn actress in Second Life.. in fact, I talked about it back in November on my other blog, Classy Sluts, taking pics of the location below....

The difference between that day, and today.. is that that dream is coming true.  Slowly but surely, I am getting into the kind of work I want to do.  My ultimate goal: SL porn movies with plot, a deep storyline, actual voiceover work with acting.

Today.. today I got that star I have been wishing for;)  I got my star on the Pornstar Walk.  Now, before anyone screams about me getting one before them, or that I haven't been in enough movies, or some other negative comment like I expect to hear either whispered or said out loud....  the stars on this walk are for people who have acted in an Erotique video.  This is not REALLY a status thing, but Club Erotique's way of honoring those who have acted in their films.  And I had just a little part in her last one, Vibrations in Time (here's the blog about it on Pornstar's Blog ) as the news reporter towards the end (GO SEE IT, I AM CLOTHED!!!)

So here are a couple pics of the stars for the Erotique actors/actresses, along with a couple of mine;)

Yes, I am proud.... and happy:)  This made me SO proud:)

Jan 31st Pornstar Party at Erotique

So, some of you know I host parties for The Pornstars group.  These are pics from the Thursday, Jan 31st party at Erotique!  

We are there EVERY Tuesday and Thursday night from 7-9pm SL (and later, if the DJ wishes) and at Opium II for Naughty Karaoke every Wednesday!