Just a little video to set the mood for this post....lol
As most of you have noticed/guessed, I am very sexually active in SL. I am, by nature, a poly-amorous woman, but I try not to get too "involved", because I never want to hurt someone.
This week I learned something... I DID hurt someone. Someone I consider a friend, who I might not have explained things well enough to. I am hoping I don't lose my friendship with this person, because he does mean alot to me. It hurts ME to know I hurt someone else, because of my inabilities to explain why I do things as I do.
I am REALLY not a complex person, but I am realizing that maybe I do need to put the general rules somewhere public, so I can refer people to them. Maybe I can keep from hurting people accidentally, if I explain it out? Not sure, but it's worth a try.
First and Foremost..... I am a woman with some common sense rules. Kinda look at it as being this: I am "one of the guys", but with tits and a pussy. I won't get jealous, I won't play mindgames, I won't try to marry your ass, I won't try to get you to buy me shit... I just want to hang out, and have mindblowing sex and then go back to hanging out. It's not that difficult to figure out:)
1) RL comes first, ALWAYS.
My highest loyalty and devotion belongs to only one person, and that is my RL husband. Some of you have heard the story of how we met (we dated on SL for a year before I moved thousands of miles to live with him), which is only one of the MANY reasons my whole heart and soul belong to him. I will never leave him, I will never do ANYTHING to cause him heartache because of something I did. He is my everything, my reason for still breathing, mon cœur (my heart). And he knows and approves of my SL playtime, as my having this kind of lifestyle online enhances our marriage, and gives me a social life I cannot have IRL due to funds/distance.
Only one other person do I say "I love you" to on a regular basis, and that is my SL wifey/best friend, Trixianna/Nina. No, she is not listed as my partner, because she is partnered to HER RL fiance/SL hubby, Ayrx/Max.
2) SL is Stress Relief, Not Stress-Inducing.
IRL, I have a low immune system due to years of my not taking care of myself, my health going downhill, and my being abused for many years before I was rescued and turned my life around. Because of this, drama and stress actually CAUSE me to get sick IRL, both physically and mentally. This is why you will notice that I don't stick around if drama starts.
This is also why I will back away from you if you start actively dating someone who has shown him/herself capable of jealousy and drama if they find out you are having sexual relations with me also. YOU might get a kick out of sneaking around, but it makes ME uncomfortable, especially if she's made comments about what would happen if she finds out you are cheating on her. In the words of the always wise Homey D. Klown, "I don't think so... Homey don't play dat!".
3) What Kind of Sex I Like
This is a bit confusing for some, especially since it really depends on my mood. But for the most part, I can tell you this:
- I don't do Master/slave shit. I am slightly submissive, but more in the role of a "pet", not a slave. Try to humiliate me, my eyebrow will raise at you and I will ask you to repeat your words, not because I didn't understand, but because I am giving you time to back the fuck up and reword that shit. Only one person owns me, that is my RL hubby. Yes, I have a RL collar, which only goes on during playtime. I will NOT be collared/branded/marked in SL. I will accept jewelry, however.. as long as it is pretty:D
- I don't do black stud/white slut roleplaying. I consider it prejudice and racial, and I don't do anything that implies humiliation to myself, or insults one's race. Besides, most of the people playing the aggressive black male avatars on SL are really Caucasian men trying to be something they don't understand. I have lived in the ghettos, boys... I know how black guys act, and most of them would kick your ass if they saw you behaving like that.
- I like both hot, slow, sensual sex.... and rough, hairpulling, sore-for-days sex. If you can't tell my mood by the way we type to one another, ask me. Ask me what kind of sex I am in the mood for today. I will tell you. In detail. Especially if I want to do THAT with YOU.
- I LOVE cybersex/emoting. I love full sentences where you tell me what you want to to do with my body, how you want to run your tongue down my neck and kiss your way to my nipples, how you want to bite/lick/suck them, how you want to grab my hair and push me down between your legs while a groan escapes from your lips... I LIKE THAT. The words are what make me orgasm. The poseballs are there merely to give us inspiration and guidance on the words coming from our desire and directed through our fingers. TELL ME HOW YOU WANT TO FUCK ME. It's not difficult, you don't have to be a novelist, just write in words what you would do to me if I were in front of you right then, in the position that our avatars are in. Believe it or not, the hotter that you make me, the more intense and hot my words will be back to you.
- In regards to cybersex/emoting..... I sometimes have a hard time between 1st person/2nd person (meaning I will say "I" and "me" and "my", instead of "she" and "her"). I prefer 1st person (I, me, my, you, your) because in the way I am feeling, I am having sex with YOU through your avatar.
- My "hard limits" (things I will never do) are pretty firm. No furry, no interspecies, no scat, no pee, no ageplay, no humiliation, no no extreme pain. I am ALMOST "vanilla", but not quite.
Whether these people become known to others as my lovers is up to them, but they know who they are... well, my wifey knows most of their names, because if I become sick or something, I need someone to let them know if I am going to be off SL for awhile.
The way to become a favorite is not a competition, it's just that these particular people GET me. I check my SL friends' list when I log on to see if they are on... I smile when I see their name... my knees go weak when they send me an IM telling me what they would like to do with me. You get the idea. They understand that jealousy is not allowed, they know they are all sharing me and that they can see whomever they wish. I am there for them, they are there for me. It's the ultimate friends with benefits for me.
One of them is my absolute favorite... and only he knows who he is. He didn't win some competition to get there, I am just the most comfortable with him both in bed and out of it. And no, I ain't telling you his name:)
5) Jealousy is a disease....
The one thing that I will not allow near me, is jealousy. It kills relationships, both loving and friendly. If you have an issue with jealousy, I am not, I repeat NOT, the lover for you. I am open and honest from the beginning.... I won't choose just one, and I won't stop playing with someone JUST because you don't like them or they did something in the past that you don't agree with.
If I feel you are showing the mannerisms of a jealous person, I will call you out on it... and if it continues, I will tell you that playtime is over. We can still be friends if you want to, but you will love funtime, if you get my meaning.
I can't think of what else to put here now.. maybe I will add onto it someday. I sound a little demanding in some ways, but these are also a version of the rules I use for RL swinging friends.